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Divorce to Healing

For those affected in any way by divorce and are in the process of healing or been healed.

Survive and Thrive: Day 6

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

I loved playing cards when I was young. I can remember playing my dad and beating him not long after he showed me a game. I guess that was when he decided to teach me a new game. He didn’t want me to beat him any more.

Does it seem like you’ve been dealt a bad hand of cards? It seems sometimes all you get are jokers and they are not even wild. When you thought you had a great hand, something happens. You play your cards and you still lose.

Truth is you are dealt some cards, and it is your job to play them to the best of your ability. A professional poker player can play horrible hands and make millions. It is all about how you play the cards that you hold right now.

In poker, you play until you run out of money or chips. Depending on how you manage your stack, you could play so many hands you will lose count. But what happens when you run out of chips?

Describing life and the ‘bad hands’ we get dealt in poker terms is easy. Yet, God wants you to know that you get many hands, many chances to learn, many opportunities to gain wisdom through the good times and the bad. Our job is to learn from them and not run out of chips.

I see our breath being the chips. We may get so close to 0 you play scared, and you play differently when you have a lot of breath (life) left. Sometimes you go ‘all-in’ and get down to your last breath.

If you run out of chips, guess what happens? God will give you His breath (chips) if you ask Him. He will keep you in the game with another hand, another chance to hit the jackpot.

Don’t think the only hand you get in life is the one you are holding. Play it the best you can and get ready for the next hand.

2 Timothy 2:15

15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.

1 Corinthians 9:24

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

1 Kings 17:14

14 For thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘The bowl of flour shall not be exhausted, nor shall the jar of oil be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain on the face of the earth.’”

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.
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Survive and Thrive: Day 5

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

Family and friends mean well. Odds are they have been affected by divorce in some way, possibly going through it as well. But, your situation is as unique as you are.

It amazes me how many people will say “just get back in the saddle” and “I knew they were not good for you since the beginning”. Really, Professor? How do you know my situation? How many of my tears have you wiped away for me?

I know that friends and family can comfort you, but sometimes they lack real Godly wisdom that will give you the help you desperately need.

How many are willing to drag you to the bar or hook you up with their friend, but are unwilling to sit and pray with you? If another divorced person is helping you celebrate your divorce like you won the Super Bowl, that is a problem.

Especially at this time, don’t let others drag you down. Seek God and allow Him to bring you up to all He has for you. Pray, read His Word, and get rooted in a bible-preaching local church.

You need a counselor, pastor, or mentor outside of your family and friend network that can be brutally honest and impartial to help you process what is going on. I believe that your family and others need to be there to comfort and support you, but limit the advice you accept unless it is Godly wisdom brought forth in real love and truth.

Seek a divorce recovery group, like DivorceCare, that will allow you to meet others that are working through the process like you. The leaders will be a resource of understanding and wisdom that you can lean on, being impartial and up front with you. You can help others as they help you in a group setting. It allows you to help understand your specific situation.

Let your family be your family. Let your friends be your friends. Let your pastors, counselors, and group leaders be your wisdom providers. Let God fill in the gaps.

Proverbs 18:24

24 A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Titus 3:8

This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men.

Proverbs 11:14

14 Where there is no guidance the people fall,
But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 4

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

God gave me a very specific word when I was starting my healing process. It has stuck with me all these years and I have shared it with so many people. It is what allowed me to get up off the floor.

Jesus and I are movin’ on!!

To me that day, it gave me the assurance that God was with me and for me in this time. It hurt so bad, but just those six words have carried me through so many rough spots.

The greatest revelation to me in those words were that no matter what, I was going to be ok. God is going to go forth with me as I moved forward.

It spoke to action. It spoke to His love for me. It spoke of a future.

Do you see yourself stuck right now? Do you question whether there is something more waiting for you to move towards?

I know first hand that God can restore you to a greater life. I have experienced the depth of God’s love like never before by trusting in Him to carry me through my hard times.

There is always hope when you look to Jesus. There is always a God who wants to lift you up and hold your hand as He walks with you.

It also spoke to moving, or a changing of location. Of course, people end up moving out of their home and to a new location during divorce. It is more than that. It is talking about a change of scenery, a new outlook, and a new way of looking at things.

This is the time you need to move on from destructive thoughts and behaviors. It is the time to move past accusations, pain, and fear.. It is time to move into a greater relationship with God and to move into all He still has for you.

Don’t waste your life not healing by just existing. Get movin’!!

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Philippians 3:13

13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 3

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

When struggling with divorce and all it entails (kids, loss, emotions, etc…), I believe you can boil all of what we need down to two things; peace and wisdom.

Our emotions want to get the best of us. Our feelings and people betray us. Our needs change on almost a daily, or even an hourly basis. We need peace.

There is something about the ocean. I have never felt more peace and tranquility than just 5 minutes with Jesus on the beach. It seems to help calm me and remind me how big this world and life really is. My problems may be huge to me, but small to this world.

As I spend time at the beach, God speaks to me. He brings me a soothing feeling of peace. When I commune with God through His Word and with worship music on my iPhone, He allows my soul to rest and recharge. What gives you those kinds of experiences? Spend some time with God while He brings you the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Our minds race with concerns. Our souls cry out for answers. Our mind is confused. What we really need is wisdom.

Godly wisdom is so far superior. We only recognize it when you cannot ever understand how something so unbelievable happens. You say something like, “This has to be God”.

It is God adding His super to our natural. Supernatural.

The best way I can gain His true wisdom is by spending time every day in the Bible, doing devotions, listening to sermons, and building my relationship to Jesus through prayer.

Counselors, friends, family, and others can give you wisdom. Is it Godly wisdom? Does it contain the supernatural wisdom from the God who created you & knows you better that you know yourself?

Pray today that God give you His perfect peace and His perfect wisdom for all you are dealing with today and in the future. Let Him be your strength and guidance in these uncertain times.

Ask God for His perfect peace and wisdom. Ask, and you shall receive.

Philippians 4:4-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 4:13

33 for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

James 1:5

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 2

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

I am not sure exactly where or when I heard someone pray this prayer.  I first prayed it when I started my divorce healing process, and I pray it over my family every morning to this day.

Repeat after me:

“Jesus, may every scheme, device, and attack of the enemy against me(family, job, situation, etc) be brought to light and thwarted at every turn!!”

It focuses on three ways the enemy affects us in our process. It calls to how we need God’s power to move forward.

scheme — a plan, an underhanded plot (the enemy’s plan)

device — a thing made for a particular purpose (the enemy’s weapons)

attack — onslaught, assault (the enemy’s battle against us)

It also focuses on two desired and specific actions we need God’s help to handle the scheme, device and attack coming our way.

be brought to light — illumination, awareness

thwarted — to oppose successfully, frustrate or baffle, prevent from accomplishing a purpose

So, here is what the prayer is really saying:

“God, whatever plans the enemy has, whoever or whatever he wants to use to fulfill that plan, and whatever battle he has prepared for me; make me fully aware of it and make it totally unsuccessful against me.”

What a powerful prayer. You are asking God to make sure you see every plan, weapon, and attack from the enemy, and that He makes sure it is not successful!!

It took me years to finally see the power behind these words. Now I can have faith knowing that God will warn me and allow me to see what I am going through. He gives me the faith to know that He is watching out for me.  What the enemy means for harm, God will make sure it works out for good.

Pray this prayer every day and in every situation. Watch your faith gain strength. Watch how God protects you as you stop wondering how to prepare and learn to fight your current battle and those yet to come.

Genesis 50:20

20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.

Job 28:11

11 “He dams up the streams from flowing, And what is hidden he brings out to the light.”

Isaiah 52:12

12 But you will not go out in haste, Nor will you go as fugitives;
For the Lord will go before you, And the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 1

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Today starts a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

When I reflect on my divorce healing, I can point to the one decision I made that allowed me to finally start moving down the road to wholeness. That decision was to trust God, NO MATTER WHAT!!!

I had already given my life to Jesus a short time before I had to make this decision, to fully trust Him. I still need God’s wisdom and guidance even today to fully understand all He did through the process.

You will fall into one of these three categories with God:

  1. You have given your life to Jesus and are saved.
  2. You have not given your life to Jesus yet.
  3. You have some kind of relationship with God/Jesus/religion etc.

There are many places and people you may have entrusted with your spiritual awareness or beliefs. It may have happened when you where a child, after you started a family, or when you were late in life. No matter which group you are in, it is my belief that without turning your life over to Jesus, you will never be able to fully heal. Only God, your Creator, can fully heal a broken heart.

You may be able to be happy, move on to another relationship, feel better about yourself and your situation, but that part of your heart that needs a total healing will never completely heal. You will live the rest of your life missing out on the greatest possible life that God has for you.

Of the many people I have been blessed to help, the only ones that fully healed were those that have surrendered their life to Jesus. They asked Him to do only what He can do; heal that which surgeons and mental health professionals cannot. A spirit wounded, a life changed, a heart broken, a family torn apart. No matter how hard, they trusted the only One worthy of trust.

Until you have experienced the love, grace, and mercy that God gives during this healing season you will never experience a life that is full of hope, completeness, and thankfulness. It is a cleansing like no other.  It is like seeing a beautiful sunrise at the ocean for the very first time.

If you feel you need to reconnect with God or want to make Jesus your personal Lord and Savior, repeat this prayer:

“Jesus, I need you. I am hurting and I am asking for You to save me. I give every part of my life to you, now and forever. Jesus, You are my Lord and Savior. Please forgive me all of my sins and flood me with you love, grace, mercy, wisdom, and understanding. My life is Yours. Heal me and make me whole. In Your precious name, Jesus. Amen.”

Over the next 6 days, you will be able to learn the powerful prayers God gave me that I use to this day. You will learn insightful practices that will allow you to live life in a way that will propel your healing forward.

John 3:16

16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Proverbs 2:10

10 For wisdom will enter your heart
And knowledge will be pleasant to your soul

Psalm 34:18

18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

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The Reflection

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The new year always lends itself to reflection. Thinking of the past. Good and bad. Accomplishments and missed expectations. Successes and failures.

This year has been a sincere blessing for me in many ways, while also revealing my short comings.

Divorce to Healing has seen tremendous growth in exposure, readership, and engagement. It has also made me wonder where we fell short helping people.

On April 12th, the Divorce to Healing Reading Plan on the YouVersion Bible App was released. In less than 8 months, over 13,300 people engaged by downloading a free copy to a phone or other device. And thus began a seed of healing.

As of Dec 31st, over 4,800 people had completed all 31 days of the Reading Plan. And thus began the next steps in continued healing.

On August 31st, a paperback version of the Reading Plan with additional resources was released on Amazon. 16 copies were sold, 3 of which I bought and sent to my family. And even more people took a step towards wholeness.

On this blog, over 3000 views from over 1000 different people in 49 different countries were seeking wisdom, encouragement, and understanding to help them make sense of this thing we call divorce.

And yet, I wonder……

Did they all know that they have been prayed for daily? Have they allowed God to do the healing work in their hearts, minds, and souls that bring the only kind of peace that satisfies? Will they continue to reach out to their family, friends, counselors, pastors, and others for the help they still need? Have we helped in any small way?

Who is that next person that God wants to touch today? What is holding some people back? How can I be of greater service to my fellow man, struggling through the same pain and hurt I experienced?

As we continue down this path together, I want to thank you for letting God do His perfect work in you. I will be here with you and want you to know, you are not alone. There are many people that desire exactly what you do — healing & wholeness.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
We are here for you.
Be blessed!!

A Prayer for the Divorced — Christmas

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A Prayer for the Divorced —  Christmas

Dear Lord,

Today, I pray for those who are alone. I pray for those who are desperate. I pray for those who have lost so much. I pray for everyone hurting and needing relief. I pray for those who cannot be with their children. I pray for those who want to restore that which is now gone. I pray for those that need hope. I pray for those that don’t understand what happened. I pray for those that just want the pain to end.

Only You, God, have the answers. Only You, Lord, can bring  true peace and understanding. Only You, Jesus, can save and redeem that which is lost.

Father God, may you pour out  your love on everyone reading this right now. May you reach them wherever they are and reveal your true self to them. Fill them with your peace. Bring them Your wisdom and help them to know You in spirit and in truth. Grant them complete healing and wholeness today.

For those that do not know the saving grace of Jesus, may you lead them to You. May they make you, Jesus, their personal Lord and Savior. Pour out Your saving grace and mercy on all those who want to truly know You, Lord.

Thank you, God, for giving your son, Jesus, to us. Today, may we celebrate His birth as you reveal Your love to us all in a greater way today.

In Jesus’ mighty name,

Amen

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