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Divorce to Healing

For those affected in any way by divorce and are in the process of healing or been healed.

Healing a Broken Heart

They say that ‘time heals all wounds’. Sorry to tell you this, but that is a load of fertilizer!!! (PG)

A sprained ankle takes 5-14 days to heal. A broken leg takes 6-8 weeks to heal. A heart attack takes 2-3 months to heal. A stoke takes 3-24 months to heal, sometimes not completely.

How long does it take to heal a broken heart? When does the pain end? Will I ever feel good again?

broken heart (also known as a heartbreak or heartache) is a term metaphor for the intense emotional—and sometimes physical—stress or pain one feels at experiencing great longing. The concept is cross-cultural, often cited with reference to a desired or lost lover, and dates back at least 3,000 years. Emotional pain that is severe can cause ‘broken heart syndrome’, including physical damage to the heart. ~~~ Wikipedia

Physical healing takes many forms, depending on the injury/disease that needs to be addressed. From doctors and nurses to fluids and gauze, things must be addressed with the final result in mind. There is a plan, a course of action showing the way to the desired result; healing.

“The oxygen (air) and nutrients (food) that new blood carries to the wound are crucial to the healing process. By improving circulation and blood flow, more healing nutrients and oxygen reach the cells.”~~ Blood, Oxygen, & Wound Healing – UnityPoint Health

When it comes to physical healing, the importance of blood flow and the blood itself cannot be understated. Without blood, it will not survive.

Blood is made up of:

  1. Red blood cells – carries oxygen throughout the body
  2. White blood cells – fight infections
  3. Platelets – cells that help you stop bleeding if you get cut
  4. Plasma – a yellowish liquid that carries nutrients, hormones, and proteins throughout the body

You can now see how important the blood is to the life of a body, especially if it is hurting and wounded, or diseased and dying.

Just like a healthy physical heart pumps life-giving blood to the physical body, so does a healthy spiritual heart pump live-changing blood to our soul. When our heart is not healthy (ie broken), the rest of our body (soul) suffers and begins to die. WE NEED OPEN HEART SURGERY!!!

Jesus, our Great Physician, has a plan for healing the broken heart. You need to approve his OPEN heart surgery. You need to allow Him to be the One that fixes your heart. He needs you to sign the consent form, and trust Him to do the work.

Romans 10:9  If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. NLT

The plan for healing is to increase the blood flow to the broken heart. It needs the life-changing blood of Jesus to heal completely.

Spiritual blood is made up of:

  1. The Breathe of God – carries oxygen to the soul
  2. The Protection of God – fights invasions from the enemy (infections of the soul)
  3. The Mercy of God – helps your soul to stop bleeding in case you get hurt again
  4. The Word of God – carries the food, growth and strength throughout the soul

Can you heal from a broken heart without Jesus?

You may be able to get relief from pain and loneliness, move on to the next relationship, and tell yourself you are ok.  Having gone through 2 divorces and with over 12 years of care ministry to those going through the divorce process, I can honestly say that those who surrendered completely to the full healing process of Jesus came through their divorce with the greatest ability to move forward in life successfully. Healed and whole.

I’m not saying it is all going to be rainbows and bubble gum. It is hard. It is tough. It may take years. Trust in the only healing that will bring complete and total restoration. Who wants to limp through life with a super-glued heart that has a murmur and only 3 working chambers?

No physical treatment program can fully and completely heal a broken heart. Don’t trust some friend who says to just get back in the saddle. Would you trust them to do open heart surgery on you physically? Why would you trust them to attempt to perform open heart surgery on your broken heart that is a part of your soul?

Only the Creator of the heart can heal a broken heart.

Open your heart. Give him control. Give it time. Be patient. Let the Great Physician do what only He can do.

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Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.
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A Divorce to Healing Testimony: Scott

From Scott, in his own words.

Thank you, Scott!!!

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Been reading your devotionals on YouVersion. No truer words than these…
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This is the time you need to move on from destructive thoughts and behaviors. It is the time to move past accusations, pain, and fear.. It is time to move into a greater relationship with God and to move into all He still has for you.
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The one thing God has pressed upon me since I found out about her affair and when she moved out, was simply this… I must forgive her for ME to heal. It was something I knew, above all else, that I HAD to do!  It took me many prayers, screaming at God, crying out to Him, “God, I can’t do this!  I know I need to, but I can’t. And truthfully, I don’t want to!  But I know I need to.  I need You to help me do this!”
Through this, He changed my heart.  I was given the opportunity to forgive her face-to-face. I did.  She ignored me, changed the subject. But I discovered that it wasn’t about her response… it was about mine. And by being obedient that day when He told me, “Do it now.  Forgive her”  I was set free of so much that was weighing me down.
But then, God taught me something new!  He told me, as I quickly found out, that Forgiveness is NOT a one-and-done… it’s a daily process. I learned to stop saying simple prayers for her and start praying blessings over her!  I struggled with this, but now pray for her job, car, increase, protection, and still most importantly, her healing and return to God.  Even if it is not with me, I pray that I can see her healed and whole.
Thank you for being obedient to God in your ministry.  Thank you for helping others like me.  I have a friend going through a nasty divorce that I have asked to read your devotionals, as well.  Thank you.
BE blessed!
Scott
One thing I have continued to pray is that if I must go through this, that God would allow me to use it to help someone else. I never even imagined that I could do so before I got through this!  But He has called me to reach out to a few people, and I’ve been able to strengthen and encourage them… not because of me or what I did, but because of what God has done in and through me.
I know this won’t be easy to get through, but I know that in forgiveness I have found peace… even though it still hurts.
I literally feel like an amputee sometimes, like I’m missing part of me. I mean I am actually.  But through forgiveness (and prayer) come healing. You cannot have one without the other.  God has been so amazing through this. Thank you again!
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Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

? What Does Being Raw Mean ?

What does it mean to be ‘RAW’ when it comes to divorce healing?

The reason I am asking is because I want to know what you think when I ask the question. To you, what does it mean?

I am in the process of developing a RAW divorce group for my local church and really want to include those topics and issues people need to get RAW and real about.

Too many times people skirt around the edge of their deepest problems to avoid the pain, but true healing can only come when you face it head on and go deep to root out the infection.

Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts below. Thanks in advance for all of your responses.

Be blessed!!

New Reading Plan Released!!

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Hi Everyone!!

So thankful and blessed by all of those who joined us last week for the daily postings of the new Reading Plan called, “Survive and Thrive”.

I just wanted to share that it has now been released on the YouVersion Bible App and you can now have it available instantly on your device.

Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

Again, Thank you all for moving forward in your healing and letting me be a small part of that.

Be blessed!!

Survive and Thrive: Day 7

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Today concludes a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

As we wrap up this series, I want to encourage you to do one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in your life. Please, I am begging you to do this one thing….

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD!!!!

The other party is God’s responsibility now. Turn whatever ill feelings you have towards them into prayer for them to God. Pray that they grow a brain, or get saved, or whatever you feel led to pray. Give them to God.

Your children (if you have them) will always have you both as mom and dad. Nothing will change that. You will just not be together, but they need you both to be mom and dad to them the rest of their lives. It may be tough and it may never get better, but realize this and it will help everyone involved.

Do everything in your power to maintain God’s protection, wisdom, and lifestyle in them. When they are not with you, pray for them. God can protect them way better than you can.

Be the parent that loves and cares for them through God’s wisdom. You don’t have to be mean to be strong. Just know that your children are watching. They are smarter than you think. They know right from wrong, and they know if you are doing all you can to be respectful in all your actions.

Taking the high road means turning it all over to God and letting Him direct your every thought, word, and deed. Pray that you can show the love of Christ in all situations. Be the adult in the room.

Seeing you taking the high road will show all those around you that Christ is working and living inside of you. It is a testimony to His goodness. He died for you. Can you take the high road for the good of everyone involved?

Pray today that you will have the strength and courage to treat the other person like God wants you to treat them.

Colossians 3:12-13

12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Matthew 7:12

12 “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Psalms 15

15 O Lord, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
But who honors those who fear the Lord;
He swears to his own hurt and does not change;
He does not put out his money at interest,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 6

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

I loved playing cards when I was young. I can remember playing my dad and beating him not long after he showed me a game. I guess that was when he decided to teach me a new game. He didn’t want me to beat him any more.

Does it seem like you’ve been dealt a bad hand of cards? It seems sometimes all you get are jokers and they are not even wild. When you thought you had a great hand, something happens. You play your cards and you still lose.

Truth is you are dealt some cards, and it is your job to play them to the best of your ability. A professional poker player can play horrible hands and make millions. It is all about how you play the cards that you hold right now.

In poker, you play until you run out of money or chips. Depending on how you manage your stack, you could play so many hands you will lose count. But what happens when you run out of chips?

Describing life and the ‘bad hands’ we get dealt in poker terms is easy. Yet, God wants you to know that you get many hands, many chances to learn, many opportunities to gain wisdom through the good times and the bad. Our job is to learn from them and not run out of chips.

I see our breath being the chips. We may get so close to 0 you play scared, and you play differently when you have a lot of breath (life) left. Sometimes you go ‘all-in’ and get down to your last breath.

If you run out of chips, guess what happens? God will give you His breath (chips) if you ask Him. He will keep you in the game with another hand, another chance to hit the jackpot.

Don’t think the only hand you get in life is the one you are holding. Play it the best you can and get ready for the next hand.

2 Timothy 2:15

15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.

1 Corinthians 9:24

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

1 Kings 17:14

14 For thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘The bowl of flour shall not be exhausted, nor shall the jar of oil be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain on the face of the earth.’”

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 5

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

Family and friends mean well. Odds are they have been affected by divorce in some way, possibly going through it as well. But, your situation is as unique as you are.

It amazes me how many people will say “just get back in the saddle” and “I knew they were not good for you since the beginning”. Really, Professor? How do you know my situation? How many of my tears have you wiped away for me?

I know that friends and family can comfort you, but sometimes they lack real Godly wisdom that will give you the help you desperately need.

How many are willing to drag you to the bar or hook you up with their friend, but are unwilling to sit and pray with you? If another divorced person is helping you celebrate your divorce like you won the Super Bowl, that is a problem.

Especially at this time, don’t let others drag you down. Seek God and allow Him to bring you up to all He has for you. Pray, read His Word, and get rooted in a bible-preaching local church.

You need a counselor, pastor, or mentor outside of your family and friend network that can be brutally honest and impartial to help you process what is going on. I believe that your family and others need to be there to comfort and support you, but limit the advice you accept unless it is Godly wisdom brought forth in real love and truth.

Seek a divorce recovery group, like DivorceCare, that will allow you to meet others that are working through the process like you. The leaders will be a resource of understanding and wisdom that you can lean on, being impartial and up front with you. You can help others as they help you in a group setting. It allows you to help understand your specific situation.

Let your family be your family. Let your friends be your friends. Let your pastors, counselors, and group leaders be your wisdom providers. Let God fill in the gaps.

Proverbs 18:24

24 A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Titus 3:8

This is a trustworthy statement; and concerning these things I want you to speak confidently, so that those who have believed God will be careful to engage in good deeds. These things are good and profitable for men.

Proverbs 11:14

14 Where there is no guidance the people fall,
But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 4

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

God gave me a very specific word when I was starting my healing process. It has stuck with me all these years and I have shared it with so many people. It is what allowed me to get up off the floor.

Jesus and I are movin’ on!!

To me that day, it gave me the assurance that God was with me and for me in this time. It hurt so bad, but just those six words have carried me through so many rough spots.

The greatest revelation to me in those words were that no matter what, I was going to be ok. God is going to go forth with me as I moved forward.

It spoke to action. It spoke to His love for me. It spoke of a future.

Do you see yourself stuck right now? Do you question whether there is something more waiting for you to move towards?

I know first hand that God can restore you to a greater life. I have experienced the depth of God’s love like never before by trusting in Him to carry me through my hard times.

There is always hope when you look to Jesus. There is always a God who wants to lift you up and hold your hand as He walks with you.

It also spoke to moving, or a changing of location. Of course, people end up moving out of their home and to a new location during divorce. It is more than that. It is talking about a change of scenery, a new outlook, and a new way of looking at things.

This is the time you need to move on from destructive thoughts and behaviors. It is the time to move past accusations, pain, and fear.. It is time to move into a greater relationship with God and to move into all He still has for you.

Don’t waste your life not healing by just existing. Get movin’!!

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Philippians 3:13

13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 3

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

When struggling with divorce and all it entails (kids, loss, emotions, etc…), I believe you can boil all of what we need down to two things; peace and wisdom.

Our emotions want to get the best of us. Our feelings and people betray us. Our needs change on almost a daily, or even an hourly basis. We need peace.

There is something about the ocean. I have never felt more peace and tranquility than just 5 minutes with Jesus on the beach. It seems to help calm me and remind me how big this world and life really is. My problems may be huge to me, but small to this world.

As I spend time at the beach, God speaks to me. He brings me a soothing feeling of peace. When I commune with God through His Word and with worship music on my iPhone, He allows my soul to rest and recharge. What gives you those kinds of experiences? Spend some time with God while He brings you the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Our minds race with concerns. Our souls cry out for answers. Our mind is confused. What we really need is wisdom.

Godly wisdom is so far superior. We only recognize it when you cannot ever understand how something so unbelievable happens. You say something like, “This has to be God”.

It is God adding His super to our natural. Supernatural.

The best way I can gain His true wisdom is by spending time every day in the Bible, doing devotions, listening to sermons, and building my relationship to Jesus through prayer.

Counselors, friends, family, and others can give you wisdom. Is it Godly wisdom? Does it contain the supernatural wisdom from the God who created you & knows you better that you know yourself?

Pray today that God give you His perfect peace and His perfect wisdom for all you are dealing with today and in the future. Let Him be your strength and guidance in these uncertain times.

Ask God for His perfect peace and wisdom. Ask, and you shall receive.

Philippians 4:4-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 4:13

33 for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

James 1:5

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

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