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Divorce to Healing

For those affected in any way by divorce and are in the process of healing or been healed.

Milestone !!!

Just wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart!!

From those who have encouraged me to follow God into His calling to all of those that trusted me to speak into their lives via the Reading Plans, THANK YOU!!

Feel free to continue to share these Godly, free resources to those dealing with the effects of divorce and separation. You never know the lives you may change because of this simple act of kindness.

Reading Plans:
31 Days: http://bit.ly/2DNy6E6
7 Days: http://bit.ly/2DTHQwD

Book: http://amzn.to/2ctwjHp

Be blessed!!

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In the Blink of an Eye

It is amazing what can happen when we least expect it.  Just a few days ago, it happened to me once again.  When I wasn’t even watching or paying attention, it came in the blink of an eye.

Perspective.

Times in my life I have wondered why “this”, why “that”, or why “now”.  As a Christian, I have learned that I need to spend that time wisely.  To live in the past is not wise, but to learn from it in a healthy way is beneficial.

Looking back, I have learned that to have a healthy perspective on events, good or bad, is what can set you up for a better future.  A divorce is one of the hardest events to ever occur in someone’s life.  Learning from mistakes, taking responsibility for consequences, and growing through heartbreak is meant to be a process, not a destination.  If you can’t move on, decide right now that you WILL move on and then get whatever help you need to do it.

When I went through my first divorce, the saying that God gave me was “Jesus and I are movin’ on”.  This implied action and decision on my part.  I could have resisted. I could have let myself spiral into vices or self-pity, and there was as a time I thought those would help.  They didn’t.

What ultimately brought me out of the ‘funk’ was knowing that Jesus was by my side, no matter what, and that He loved me unconditionally.  Friends and family were around to encourage me, even if they didn’t know what to say or they said the wrong things.  I know they cared about me as a person.  I wasn’t in this alone.

It changed my perspective.

Back in 2016, God impressed on me (and literally dragged me) to finish a Divorce to Healing reading plan for the YouVersion Bible App.  The Bible App is one of the most downloaded apps all over the world. It is literally the bible in your hand.  They also include reading plans or devotionals that can help people grow closer to God.  This is what I was supposed to do.

I needed to create 31 different days on different topics.  I was stuck on about Day 17 for a few months. I wasn’t motivated any more to finish it, but God lovingly convinced me to be obedient.

In 2017, God gave me a desire to do a shorter 7 day plan to compliment the first plan.  It allowed people to have a shorter devotional that they could complete quickly and give them a desire to download the longer 31 day plan.  And now, I am just humbled beyond belief.

Today (Jan 26, 2018) is a huge day for the ministry of Divorce to Healing.  God told me to help people through the divorce process.  At times, I didn’t know what to say or do.  I just needed to do something.

As of today, “Divorce to Healing: 31 Days of Healing and Wholeness” and “DIvorce to Healing: Survive and Thrive” have been completed over 25,000 times.  They been downloaded over 55,000 times.  I don’t know what to say.  All I want to do is cry.

Behind every one of the downloads is a soul.  Behind every completion is a story.

Every one of these numbers humble me.  It makes me long to know that those reading plans have made a difference, even for a moment.  I wonder how those precious people are doing, even months and years after using the plans.  Then God gave me a little more perspective.

On January 13th, 2018, I picked up my phone and saw a notification.  It said that this blog had increased traffic that day.  I have seen it before and love to know that God is directing people that need help to reach out.  Little did I know how many……

On that one day, this blog spiked to 1,845 views.  I could literally swipe down to reload the stats and see new people every minute looking at this blog.  I wondered why, and figured it was because of people checking out the reading plan.  More perspective.

On that same day, 2,457 people downloaded one of the two reading plans.  If it was physically able to, my mouth would still be on the floor.  Words can’t describe the feeling.  Good and bad.

While seeing the work I put in being of value to people, it breaks my heart that people have to go through what I went through.  I wish I could just reach out and encourage them.

So this goes out to you all, whether you have just found this blog and the reading plans or have been with us for years.  You are not alone.  People love you.  It gets better.  You will survive.  You will make it.  Jesus and you are movin’ on!!

Thank you for being obedient to God by allowing others, including myself, to speak life to you.  I know sometimes the last thing you want to do is to be around anyone.  You can’t run or hide from the love Jesus has for you. He will be with you every step of the way.

This is my new perspective:  God can even use me, a two-time divorcee, to bring light and love to the world.  And He can and will use you too, if you let Him.

I would love to hear from you, however and whenever you feel up to it.  Leave me a comment or just a word for me.  Pass along your story.  It will encourage others at the same time.

I leave you with this:

The blink of an eye is but a moment in time.  Eventually, the tear is wiped away and you can see clearly again.

The Forgiveness Message

If I could boil down the issues that people deal with pertaining to divorce, I would say the one that brings the greatest amount of healing is forgiveness.

This is a message from my pastor, Stovall Weems from Celebration Church in Jacksonville, Florida. He preached this last Sunday, Dec 17, 2017. I knew after listening to it that I wanted to share it with you.

May it help you to understand how powerful and life changing forgiveness, real complete forgiveness, can give you.

 

Healing a Broken Heart

They say that ‘time heals all wounds’. Sorry to tell you this, but that is a load of fertilizer!!! (PG)

A sprained ankle takes 5-14 days to heal. A broken leg takes 6-8 weeks to heal. A heart attack takes 2-3 months to heal. A stoke takes 3-24 months to heal, sometimes not completely.

How long does it take to heal a broken heart? When does the pain end? Will I ever feel good again?

broken heart (also known as a heartbreak or heartache) is a term metaphor for the intense emotional—and sometimes physical—stress or pain one feels at experiencing great longing. The concept is cross-cultural, often cited with reference to a desired or lost lover, and dates back at least 3,000 years. Emotional pain that is severe can cause ‘broken heart syndrome’, including physical damage to the heart. ~~~ Wikipedia

Physical healing takes many forms, depending on the injury/disease that needs to be addressed. From doctors and nurses to fluids and gauze, things must be addressed with the final result in mind. There is a plan, a course of action showing the way to the desired result; healing.

“The oxygen (air) and nutrients (food) that new blood carries to the wound are crucial to the healing process. By improving circulation and blood flow, more healing nutrients and oxygen reach the cells.”~~ Blood, Oxygen, & Wound Healing – UnityPoint Health

When it comes to physical healing, the importance of blood flow and the blood itself cannot be understated. Without blood, it will not survive.

Blood is made up of:

  1. Red blood cells – carries oxygen throughout the body
  2. White blood cells – fight infections
  3. Platelets – cells that help you stop bleeding if you get cut
  4. Plasma – a yellowish liquid that carries nutrients, hormones, and proteins throughout the body

You can now see how important the blood is to the life of a body, especially if it is hurting and wounded, or diseased and dying.

Just like a healthy physical heart pumps life-giving blood to the physical body, so does a healthy spiritual heart pump live-changing blood to our soul. When our heart is not healthy (ie broken), the rest of our body (soul) suffers and begins to die. WE NEED OPEN HEART SURGERY!!!

Jesus, our Great Physician, has a plan for healing the broken heart. You need to approve his OPEN heart surgery. You need to allow Him to be the One that fixes your heart. He needs you to sign the consent form, and trust Him to do the work.

Romans 10:9  If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. NLT

The plan for healing is to increase the blood flow to the broken heart. It needs the life-changing blood of Jesus to heal completely.

Spiritual blood is made up of:

  1. The Breathe of God – carries oxygen to the soul
  2. The Protection of God – fights invasions from the enemy (infections of the soul)
  3. The Mercy of God – helps your soul to stop bleeding in case you get hurt again
  4. The Word of God – carries the food, growth and strength throughout the soul

Can you heal from a broken heart without Jesus?

You may be able to get relief from pain and loneliness, move on to the next relationship, and tell yourself you are ok.  Having gone through 2 divorces and with over 12 years of care ministry to those going through the divorce process, I can honestly say that those who surrendered completely to the full healing process of Jesus came through their divorce with the greatest ability to move forward in life successfully. Healed and whole.

I’m not saying it is all going to be rainbows and bubble gum. It is hard. It is tough. It may take years. Trust in the only healing that will bring complete and total restoration. Who wants to limp through life with a super-glued heart that has a murmur and only 3 working chambers?

No physical treatment program can fully and completely heal a broken heart. Don’t trust some friend who says to just get back in the saddle. Would you trust them to do open heart surgery on you physically? Why would you trust them to attempt to perform open heart surgery on your broken heart that is a part of your soul?

Only the Creator of the heart can heal a broken heart.

Open your heart. Give him control. Give it time. Be patient. Let the Great Physician do what only He can do.

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Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

A Divorce to Healing Testimony: Scott

From Scott, in his own words.

Thank you, Scott!!!

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Been reading your devotionals on YouVersion. No truer words than these…
—-
This is the time you need to move on from destructive thoughts and behaviors. It is the time to move past accusations, pain, and fear.. It is time to move into a greater relationship with God and to move into all He still has for you.
—-
The one thing God has pressed upon me since I found out about her affair and when she moved out, was simply this… I must forgive her for ME to heal. It was something I knew, above all else, that I HAD to do!  It took me many prayers, screaming at God, crying out to Him, “God, I can’t do this!  I know I need to, but I can’t. And truthfully, I don’t want to!  But I know I need to.  I need You to help me do this!”
Through this, He changed my heart.  I was given the opportunity to forgive her face-to-face. I did.  She ignored me, changed the subject. But I discovered that it wasn’t about her response… it was about mine. And by being obedient that day when He told me, “Do it now.  Forgive her”  I was set free of so much that was weighing me down.
But then, God taught me something new!  He told me, as I quickly found out, that Forgiveness is NOT a one-and-done… it’s a daily process. I learned to stop saying simple prayers for her and start praying blessings over her!  I struggled with this, but now pray for her job, car, increase, protection, and still most importantly, her healing and return to God.  Even if it is not with me, I pray that I can see her healed and whole.
Thank you for being obedient to God in your ministry.  Thank you for helping others like me.  I have a friend going through a nasty divorce that I have asked to read your devotionals, as well.  Thank you.
BE blessed!
Scott
One thing I have continued to pray is that if I must go through this, that God would allow me to use it to help someone else. I never even imagined that I could do so before I got through this!  But He has called me to reach out to a few people, and I’ve been able to strengthen and encourage them… not because of me or what I did, but because of what God has done in and through me.
I know this won’t be easy to get through, but I know that in forgiveness I have found peace… even though it still hurts.
I literally feel like an amputee sometimes, like I’m missing part of me. I mean I am actually.  But through forgiveness (and prayer) come healing. You cannot have one without the other.  God has been so amazing through this. Thank you again!
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Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

? What Does Being Raw Mean ?

What does it mean to be ‘RAW’ when it comes to divorce healing?

The reason I am asking is because I want to know what you think when I ask the question. To you, what does it mean?

I am in the process of developing a RAW divorce group for my local church and really want to include those topics and issues people need to get RAW and real about.

Too many times people skirt around the edge of their deepest problems to avoid the pain, but true healing can only come when you face it head on and go deep to root out the infection.

Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts below. Thanks in advance for all of your responses.

Be blessed!!

New Reading Plan Released!!

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Hi Everyone!!

So thankful and blessed by all of those who joined us last week for the daily postings of the new Reading Plan called, “Survive and Thrive”.

I just wanted to share that it has now been released on the YouVersion Bible App and you can now have it available instantly on your device.

Click HERE for “Divorce to Healing; Survive and Thrive” and share with those that would appreciate the help it provides.

Again, Thank you all for moving forward in your healing and letting me be a small part of that.

Be blessed!!

Survive and Thrive: Day 7

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Today concludes a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

As we wrap up this series, I want to encourage you to do one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in your life. Please, I am begging you to do this one thing….

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD!!!!

The other party is God’s responsibility now. Turn whatever ill feelings you have towards them into prayer for them to God. Pray that they grow a brain, or get saved, or whatever you feel led to pray. Give them to God.

Your children (if you have them) will always have you both as mom and dad. Nothing will change that. You will just not be together, but they need you both to be mom and dad to them the rest of their lives. It may be tough and it may never get better, but realize this and it will help everyone involved.

Do everything in your power to maintain God’s protection, wisdom, and lifestyle in them. When they are not with you, pray for them. God can protect them way better than you can.

Be the parent that loves and cares for them through God’s wisdom. You don’t have to be mean to be strong. Just know that your children are watching. They are smarter than you think. They know right from wrong, and they know if you are doing all you can to be respectful in all your actions.

Taking the high road means turning it all over to God and letting Him direct your every thought, word, and deed. Pray that you can show the love of Christ in all situations. Be the adult in the room.

Seeing you taking the high road will show all those around you that Christ is working and living inside of you. It is a testimony to His goodness. He died for you. Can you take the high road for the good of everyone involved?

Pray today that you will have the strength and courage to treat the other person like God wants you to treat them.

Colossians 3:12-13

12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Matthew 7:12

12 “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Psalms 15

15 O Lord, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
In whose eyes a reprobate is despised,
But who honors those who fear the Lord;
He swears to his own hurt and does not change;
He does not put out his money at interest,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

Survive and Thrive: Day 6

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Today continues a series of 7 daily posts that will allow you to Survive and Thrive in your divorce recovery process. It will be available on the YouVersion Bible App eventually, but I wanted to share it with all of you first. May it be the blessing I pray it needs to be for you.

I loved playing cards when I was young. I can remember playing my dad and beating him not long after he showed me a game. I guess that was when he decided to teach me a new game. He didn’t want me to beat him any more.

Does it seem like you’ve been dealt a bad hand of cards? It seems sometimes all you get are jokers and they are not even wild. When you thought you had a great hand, something happens. You play your cards and you still lose.

Truth is you are dealt some cards, and it is your job to play them to the best of your ability. A professional poker player can play horrible hands and make millions. It is all about how you play the cards that you hold right now.

In poker, you play until you run out of money or chips. Depending on how you manage your stack, you could play so many hands you will lose count. But what happens when you run out of chips?

Describing life and the ‘bad hands’ we get dealt in poker terms is easy. Yet, God wants you to know that you get many hands, many chances to learn, many opportunities to gain wisdom through the good times and the bad. Our job is to learn from them and not run out of chips.

I see our breath being the chips. We may get so close to 0 you play scared, and you play differently when you have a lot of breath (life) left. Sometimes you go ‘all-in’ and get down to your last breath.

If you run out of chips, guess what happens? God will give you His breath (chips) if you ask Him. He will keep you in the game with another hand, another chance to hit the jackpot.

Don’t think the only hand you get in life is the one you are holding. Play it the best you can and get ready for the next hand.

2 Timothy 2:15

15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.

1 Corinthians 9:24

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

1 Kings 17:14

14 For thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘The bowl of flour shall not be exhausted, nor shall the jar of oil be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain on the face of the earth.’”

If you would like another great free resource, enjoy the
available on the YouVersion Bible App.

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