So, you asked for advice on how to get through your divorce. You asked your friend how they got over that cheating SOB. Your buddy is just telling you to suck it up and get back in the saddle again….(smacking my forehead)

Part of me wants to just tell you the same advice. In some ways I want to say the same things, but is that really going to help? It depends.

Is that what you need to hear? Probably not. It really depends on where you are at in your healing process.

**DISCLAIMER** (The statements at the beginning of this blog post are pathetic, just FYI !!)

So many times we ask for advice when all we really want to do is have someone listen to us. We really just want to dump on our spouse/ex-spouse or to have a pity party. Sometimes we just want to hear ourselves talk. In some ways, that is perfectly fine. Just make sure you understand that the person hearing all of this is not to be held responsible for your shortcomings.

Be real about why you want them there.

If you need a listening ear, that is ok. Don’t expect them to give you earth-shattering wisdom. If you desire honest, live-giving advice then make sure they know they are not just there to wipe the tears away.

Know what you need. If you don’t know what you need, tell them that too. Just be honest. They can’t fill a bucket if they don’t bring any water.

Let me also get this off of my chest…..

If you ask for advice and you ask it from someone you can trust will give you life-giving (not unselfish and revengeful) advice, JUST DO IT!!!

So much of your pain and lack of healing comes because you ask for advice and then never follow through with it. Part of me wants to ask, “Why the @#$ did you bother asking me in the first place?”

Here is a person that is giving you advice in love and wanting to help you. C’mon, man!!

Step up to the plate and just do it!!

You might be thinking, “That’s a little rough..” or “How can you say that?..”,  And to that I would replay, “BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR IT!!”

I know that the healing process takes time. I know that in a lot of ways, we revert back to being child-like. For a lot of people it was the time in our lives that we felt safe, before the doo doo hit the blades. I understand.

But eventually you learned to trust. You took those steps forward. You realized that without a little struggle and change, you were not going to experience anything.

Life sucks at times. I can guarantee you, everyone has struggle and pain. I know that everyone has their ups and downs.

Out of 7+ billion people on this great spinning ball, I am sure you are not the only person going through what you are going through. Maybe, just maybe, someone is watching how you are handling your situation and can use your wisdom when you are finally able to give it.

So, in the whole scheme of it all, you need to move on so you can help someone else move on as well.

Realize how important it is that you need to ‘grow up’ and just do it…do what you need to move forward and heal.

It is not easy. I know. Just take it a day at a time, but do it.

Don’t be that person who keeps walking around the same mountain of discouragement, disappointment, and frustration.

You can do it!!!! I know you can!!!

 

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